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Anne C
If you're having a deja vu moment with this question, ignore:
I'm 19, a girl, and for years I've been afraid of adults, children, elderly, people of all sorts! I'm especially afraid of people larger than me (obese or just plain TALL), since they make me feel so small, weak and intimidated. Children tend to be loud, brave, judgmental, and that intimidates me as well. Adults seem even worse. I am afraid to go out in public. Not even to the grocery store. I can barely even call the pizza man over the phone. If I do go out in public with parents, i'd just bolt outside on a bench and wait for my parents to finish shopping and leave for home. I'm usually the first one in the door. I just run to my room, and slam it shut, and try to catch my breath, not even helping with the groceries. Then I just flop on my bed, cover my head, and sleep in to 6pm (in time for dinner) the next day. I barely eat, as well. I dont even enjoy going out into the kitchen, since its next to the living room, which is a big space lots of people are invited into. Even when there's no one there, I hate going in. I feel people are staring into me and can see me, my thoughts, etc.
I prefer animals to people, and I have 4 pets so far. I fear that when im out of the house, i'd become an animal hoarder. I can imagine myself with my dream animals on a farm. Buffalo, horses, chickens, a lot of dogs...
Im afraid of loud noises, and I have paranoia. Not the normal "after watching a scary slasher movie" kind. This is constant. I'm constantly looking around my shoulder, shivering in fear (I mainly do that in public, which gives off a bad impression), and I feel people are watching. When I think of a song, I dont sing out loud because I think people will hear me, although the house is so empty. I cant even talk to my animals when i'm home alone. I'm afraid of people hearing my voice, as well. So, I am usually very quiet.
If a visitor comes to our house, i'm locking my door and in my room the whole time. I do badly with meeting strangers.
I hate being hugged or touched by anyone (esp not handshaking), including my parents. If I see a person coming towards me in public, I bolt the other direction. Gosh, i'd even run and yell. If I find the confidence to go into a store (empty ones like petstores or bookstores), and i'm walking into an aisle, If I see a person standing there, I just back away quickly, and move a good distance away.
I barely look into a mirror to see how I look. I'm just discusted by my face, skin, hair, and very thin body. I'm 5'8" and 107 pounds.
Forgot to add one more thing! If I see large groups of people in public, I feel they're staring and saying something about me. I sometimes think I can hear them, but it's probably in my head, well, I don't actually know, so I just bolt away.
I am pretty nocturnal nowadays, awake until 4am due to a gaming addiction (my main source of interaction), then I sleep until 6pm or later. If I miraculously wake up at 3pm, that's considered 'early' for me.
I dont have school anymore (THANK GOD). I had online school (because I cant cope with socializing), but my gaming addiction and fear of contacting the teacher to explain my inactivity made her drop me out of the class. I was too afraid to log back in, because I would fear an angry email from her or something. So, I put it off. And now, I have no classes. Now, I feel worse. I have no means of graduating now.
Anyway, yes, I have been hospitalized once for being caught looking up methods to... You know. I've learned my lesson, I believe.
Oh, and anti-depressants seem to make me either ill or sleepy. Believe me, i've been on a lot of doses (some were high doses) and types. None work significantly (even over the years!). I am now off all of them and am not getting any mental help.
I usually stay at home, in my room, and I refuse to go shopping or run errands. Half of my day, im laying in bed, not willing to do anything. I cover my head with a blanket since it feels safer.
So, any ideas on whats wrong with me? My parents refuse to think anything's wrong with me, and I think my mom knows, but she thinks that her family is being dishonored by my behavior and no one should have any insanity if they are deeply as religious as she is. I dont even go to her church anymore, since I dont feel comfortable there at all.
PS, talking to a friend wont help, because I haven't had one since elementary school. I barely speak to my mom unless I am sick or want something, and almost not at all to my dad! He cant speak to me without yelling.
Answer
The list is endless but you cannot really treat youself.
However,If I was suffering, I would try and conquer one fear at a time.
For example, You know that a fear of a mouse is silly. So is a fear of loud noises. A mouse might make you jump and so might a loud sound but its nothing to be scared of.
So, when you are alone, turn up the radio or tv a little louder. It won't hurt you but make you feel scared but also you know its silly to be scared.Do it once a day until you are not scared anymore, then move on to your next fear.
Sorry you have such dipstick parents they are not helping and possibly making your conditoin worse. Email if you need an online friend.
The list is endless but you cannot really treat youself.
However,If I was suffering, I would try and conquer one fear at a time.
For example, You know that a fear of a mouse is silly. So is a fear of loud noises. A mouse might make you jump and so might a loud sound but its nothing to be scared of.
So, when you are alone, turn up the radio or tv a little louder. It won't hurt you but make you feel scared but also you know its silly to be scared.Do it once a day until you are not scared anymore, then move on to your next fear.
Sorry you have such dipstick parents they are not helping and possibly making your conditoin worse. Email if you need an online friend.
My mom is ruining my life?
Missy
I will try to be short, but descriptive. Sorry if it's still too long. Please, read it! :(
I have been spiraling (more and more every year) into a very sad state of depression. I contemplate suicide on a daily basis... I attempt suicide several times a month. I have horrible anxiety issues. I can barely sleep... I'm also in a horrible school situation.
Here is what my mom has been doing:
She took me out of my high school last semester, because I was getting sick a lot. Yet, she often tells me she'll take me to the doctor, she NEVER does. Also, I begged her many times to get me started with online schooling, bet she kept putting it off until, I reluctantly gave up. Now, this month what would be my Junior year in high school started. I tried really hard to go back to public school, but she claimed she would start online courses for me! Well, it's already a few weeks into the school year, yet she hasn't done that yet! She acts like it's my responsibility or something! I will ask her if she's got all the information and things planned and she looks at me and thinks I was suppose to do that! Even if I do find out all the information and courses I want, she doesn't care. I feel like she's in control of my life... :( I feel so isolated, scared, numb... This is the worse state I have EVER been in. Let me also mention something. Last week, I finally decided to tell my mom about the time my older brother molested me when I was a little girl. She reacted terribly to this. After a lot of her yelling at me and trying to convince me that it was a dream or my imagination, she says she believes me, but it's just empty words to me. She fully supports me brother with his life and everything. She acts like I'm the one that damaged his life... I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here or something! I mean, I was molested by him, yet she treated me like I'm the criminal. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm very very very close to actually committing suicide. Trust me. I don't want to! I really don't! I just feel so trapped. I have dreams of being a writer. That's the only thing that is truly keeping me alive. Even then, I feel like I'm an absolute failure. I did so well in school. I was an honor student. Now, I feel like my life is ruined. I honestly feel like I won't be able to ever go back to school, that I won't be able to go to college, and that my life will be complete crap! I am so scared out of my mind. It's so hard for me to explain to you how I'm feeling. I just feel so tired. As hard as I try, I feel like I'm about to fall over from it all. I seriously feel like I'm going to collapse one of these days and just die. I hate my mom so much. She always tells me that she does everything for me and "tries hard"... Also, she'll bribe me with items, and if I talk about the way she treats me, she'll say, "I get you everything...blah blah blah" I am simply SICK of what she's doing to my life. I don't know what to do, though! The only thing I can think of, is going to boarding school. I have looked into that, but it seems like it's too late to. Everyone I asked, tells me that it's not possible. Then, what am I suppose to do? PLEASE, help! I truly need it. Things are so bad, that when I'm really on the edge, I can't cry anymore. It's like my tears are locked inside me and I just turn numb.
- Just so you know, I'm sixteen years old. I will be turning seventeen in November. You have no idea how depressed that makes me feel. I feel like I'm watching my life pass by, not being able to take part in it. Just the other day, I was at the store and ran into some old classmates. Guess what? They were dressed up in their homecoming dresses. When I left the store, I cried so much. The pain is really unbearable for me.
Answer
I AGREE that your mom is harming you and you need to find some kind of help.
Just go back to school, and tell the school counselor what is happening. Your mom is mentally ill, and sounds like she is sabotaging your success. You cant let ther do that. You cant rely on her, sad to say, so stop expecting you will be able to.
Go to school. JUst go. If you have another place to live, do that.
You can call social services and tell them what is happening.
You can contact these people and see if they have any help for you to offer.
drphilfoundation.org
drphil.com
social services in the blue pages under state
look at your yellow pages under mental health and call and ask if you can come in to see someone on a sliding scale , as a teen, or ask for resources.
You need an adult in your corner that will help you counter your mom, and support and care for you.
You have to be very careful on the adults you trust , since at your age every perv comes out of the wood work,like roaches,and you dont need that.
Listen, you can do this. You are old enough. Plenty of people, have left home, gottne their own place and finished high school and gone on to college and made a success. You can legally leave home at 16 in most states.
Your mom is ill.
Now you have to start finding the trustworthy people in your life and make a family of choice.
girlsinc.org
mariska.com
giverespect.org startstrongteens.org loveisnotabuse.com bbbs.org (get a big sister),
Get BACK into school.
NOW.
Talk to the principle, tell them what you have said here. I think at sixteen you have the right to make decisions like this.
get going.
Figure out how you can participate in school , like the prom.
Find a mentor, someone you admire that is successful and into your interests,like writing, and ask them to advise and guide you. Find role models.
Make your future bright, and create the life you want. Find a career that you can make money at , while writing.
Start a web site that pays you money to adverise 18886843304 has a supportive program where they will set up a web site for 197$, also tax liens and realestate, maybe you could get into those also.
Start thinking, because it sounds like your mom has lost it, and you need all the help you can get , beyour own best friend. starting right now.
Here are some great therapists with a great healing method.
eftunierse.com click on 'get started free' for a free version , you can erase the negaitve messages and feelings you have and rebuild your confidence.
eftmastersworldwide.com
quantumrelease.com
the very best wishes to you
If you are unclear, on what to do, you can talk to these professionals , and they will help you make a plan that works for you. weaveinc.org
I AGREE that your mom is harming you and you need to find some kind of help.
Just go back to school, and tell the school counselor what is happening. Your mom is mentally ill, and sounds like she is sabotaging your success. You cant let ther do that. You cant rely on her, sad to say, so stop expecting you will be able to.
Go to school. JUst go. If you have another place to live, do that.
You can call social services and tell them what is happening.
You can contact these people and see if they have any help for you to offer.
drphilfoundation.org
drphil.com
social services in the blue pages under state
look at your yellow pages under mental health and call and ask if you can come in to see someone on a sliding scale , as a teen, or ask for resources.
You need an adult in your corner that will help you counter your mom, and support and care for you.
You have to be very careful on the adults you trust , since at your age every perv comes out of the wood work,like roaches,and you dont need that.
Listen, you can do this. You are old enough. Plenty of people, have left home, gottne their own place and finished high school and gone on to college and made a success. You can legally leave home at 16 in most states.
Your mom is ill.
Now you have to start finding the trustworthy people in your life and make a family of choice.
girlsinc.org
mariska.com
giverespect.org startstrongteens.org loveisnotabuse.com bbbs.org (get a big sister),
Get BACK into school.
NOW.
Talk to the principle, tell them what you have said here. I think at sixteen you have the right to make decisions like this.
get going.
Figure out how you can participate in school , like the prom.
Find a mentor, someone you admire that is successful and into your interests,like writing, and ask them to advise and guide you. Find role models.
Make your future bright, and create the life you want. Find a career that you can make money at , while writing.
Start a web site that pays you money to adverise 18886843304 has a supportive program where they will set up a web site for 197$, also tax liens and realestate, maybe you could get into those also.
Start thinking, because it sounds like your mom has lost it, and you need all the help you can get , beyour own best friend. starting right now.
Here are some great therapists with a great healing method.
eftunierse.com click on 'get started free' for a free version , you can erase the negaitve messages and feelings you have and rebuild your confidence.
eftmastersworldwide.com
quantumrelease.com
the very best wishes to you
If you are unclear, on what to do, you can talk to these professionals , and they will help you make a plan that works for you. weaveinc.org
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