Q. So I'm a student at the University of Ottawa and I have never done a drug and only get drunk every once in a while...I'm very optimistic and I'm planning on attending law school. When I do party I have alot of fun..I love watching hockey and even playing sports...I run cross-country too... Now would guys typically be more interested in me or a rebel?
Answer
u sound interested n yeah i did be interested in u
and aslo i gotta say if u look good
u dont have to be bad to make me trip
Can someone please check my essay for grammatical errors, run on and fragmented sentences?
Q. We often find ourselves thinking back on our accomplishments and the downfalls we experienced during our high school year and often wonder how friends and teachers played an important role in our year throughout high school.
I remember waking up that morning knowing that I was officially a freshman. My head was just spinning with sheer excitement. The moment I walked in the high school, it suddenly hit me that I had taken a major step into life. The first day was the premier of Freshmen Academy. As freshman, this was always something to look forward to. The whole point of Freshmen Academy was to Spoil the new students and give them an incredible first year. Meeting new people has always been exciting for me, so naturally I enjoyed seeing new faces and befriending everyone I saw and talk to in class. Throughout the year we played games such as who could be told a joke while they had a mouth full of water and not laugh. We also went on several school trips; for instance, we took a field trip to a nearby theater to watch the Theatrical performance of Romeo and Juliet; it was absolutely amazing! Every Friday morning before the football game, the school had a pep rally to get the students hyped up for the big Rivalry that afternoon. The dance line and cheerleaders performed their routines in front of the student body and throw out free t-shirts to the students. Sometimes they had student dance-offs where you could win a free ticket to the game. We finished off the pep rally with our famous chant from the whole student body, âGo Rebels!â The day they announced that tennis tryouts were being held, I almost peed in my pants. I have always loved sports and a great new challenge. Although many people told me it was tough to make the team, I took on the challenge and made the cut. The next day I decided to take on the challenge and join the cross country team. Although many people told me I would never endure it I stuck to my decision and defeated the challenge.
However, not all memories in high school are pleasant such as the mockery and bullying I received from jealous students. Whenever I excelled at something, whether it be getting a high grade on a test or excelling at sports, there was always someone there to mock and judge my achievements. Though I tried really hard to put those mockery comments behind me, I always seemed to think back on them and ask myself, âWhat did I done wrong?â It amazed me how it amused some people to make unfriendly remarks toward another personâs achievements. Due to this bullying and mocking, I chose to seclude myself from the peers around me because I thought they believed in slandering me. I began feeling insecure and uncertain about everything I did. My goal was to go to school and come back home as soon as school let out. I could no longer walk down the hallways with passion; instead, I was like a stranger to the world. I hid my face from the world. Everywhere I walked shadows loomed over me spitting out mockery and shame on. My grades in school began to tumble, my performance in sport declined tremendously. I felt tired all the time, I felt like a heavy burden was laid upon my chest. I began to believe that my only friend was myself. I stopped doing homework which worsened my grades. However, I realized that my friends and teachers were with me throughout this moment in my life. They had been reaching for me and I had been shoving them away. My teachers made sure that I walked the hallways without someone shoving or making remarks about the way I dressed or the way I talked. My friends reserved a seat for me at the lunch table and shared their food with me. My whole world ignited in silver linings as I realized that I could not let my mind stoop to the past and drown suffocates in sorrow.
Answer
The numbers are not sequential because my reply was too long, and I had to take a lot of useful (and some not-so-useful) information out.
(1)"The moment I walked *in* the high school".
>The moment I walked into the school./ The first time I set foot in the school.
(3)"..Freshmen Academy..."
>FreshMAN Academy, the *adjective* is always singular "freshman" e.g.: freshman year, freshman dance etc. "freshmen" is the plural noun, as in: "There are several freshmen standing over there."[REF. 1]
(4)"As freshman..."
>As a freshman/ As freshmen... (it was always something for US to look forward to)
(6)"...who could be told a joke while they had a mouth full of water..."
>avoid the passive voice: "...who could hear a joke..."
(8)"...cheerleaders performed their routines in front of the student body and throw out free t-shirts to the students..."
>the "student body" is figurative:
"...the cheerleaders *would* perform their routines in front of *the students*, and (would) throw out free t-shirts (to everyone)."
(9)"...I almost peed in my pants."
> "...I was incredibly excited/ I was beside myself with excitement/ I could hardly contain my *excitement*."
(10)"The next day I decided to take on the challenge...'
>: "The next day, I decided to take on (yet) another challenge..."
(11)"I stuck to my decision and defeated the challenge"
>"...and succeeded."/ "...and was successful."
(12)"However, not all memories in high school are pleasant such as"
>"However, not all memories *of* high school are pleasant (ones) *comma*, such as..."
(13)"...from jealous students."
>Did you steal their boyfriends? I think you mean "...from *envious* students."
When one is envious of someone else, they would be happy if the other person lost what they had.
When someone is jealous, they will only be happy if they get that exact thing the other person has, because they feel it rightfully belongs to them. Your friends may have been *envious* of your success or popularity, but not *jealous*.
(14)"...I tried really hard..."
>I tried *very* hard
(15)"...to put those mockery comments behind me..."
>Try: "to put *the* mockery and negative comments..."
Because "the", unlike "those" is not sensitive to number as a definite article ohhhh, just trust me.
(16)âWhat did I done wrong?â
>present perfect (for reported speech): "What have I done wrong?" (up to this point) OR pluperfect (for narration) "...I would wonder what I had done wrong"
(17)"Due to this bullying and mocking"
>"Because of this..."/ "As a result of this..."
"Due to" is highly disputed, but don't worry about it, stick with me [REF. 2]
(18)"...from the peers around me..."
>wordy, try: "...from my peers.."
(19)"...I thought they believed in slandering me."
>: "...saying bad things about me/spreading rumors..."
(20)"...and come back home..."
>: "...return home..."
(21)"...walk down the hallways with *passion*..."
>"confidence"
(22)"...I was like a stranger to the world. I hid my face from the world..."
>one or the other, but not both.
(23)"Everywhere I walked shadows loomed over me spitting out mockery and shame on."
>"Everywhere I walked *comma*, shadows loomed over me *comma*, showering me with mockery and shame."
(24)"My grades in school began to tumble..."
>"My grades began to plummet/fall/slide..."
Try not to end a sentence with a preposition.
(25)"...I felt like a heavy burden was laid upon my chest."
>"I felt *as though* there were a heavy weight on my chest."
(26)"which worsened my grades."
>: "...which caused my grades to worsen."
(27)"my friends and teachers were with me throughout this moment in my life."
>t:"...had been with me throughout..."
(28)"...I had been shoving them away..."
>"pushing"
(28)"...without someone shoving or..."
>"without someone shoving *me*, or..."
(29)"My friends reserved a seat..."
>again, things they did habitually in the past:"...*would* *save* a seat..."
(30)"My whole world ignited in silver linings as I realized that I could not let my mind stoop to the past and drown suffocates in sorrow."
>let's just rewrite this, yes?:
"I began to appreciate the positive aspects of my life, and realized that I could not succumb to past events and continue to drown myself in sorrow."
Good luck, keep writing!
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